So here I am sitting in my car wondering what the hell I am doing here? Should I go in or just head on home? I have not been to a town hall meeting in 15 years or more, hell have I ever been to a town hall meeting at all? “Mandatory Town Hall Meeting” the signs read all across town. Mandatory, can they make it mandatory?

“Let’s just see what the buzz is hun.”, my wife Stacy says as she taps me on the shoulder and draws me out of my internal wondering. I can’t believe this. The entire parking lot is full. For a town hall meeting? This really is Stacy’s job isn’t it? She likes this shit. I could care less what Higgins is bent out of shape about. I never voted for the old bastard. Actually, I never vote at all.

As I open the door to the Old Grable Hall, I actually believe every single person in this town is here. They are all screaming and crying like someone died. Did someone die? As I walk forward and slowly escort my wife into the Hall, this isn’t just cries of sorrow, I think it may be terror? Stacy of course leaves me immediately to tend to Lady Hilbright whom is sitting in the last pew screaming like she saw a ghost. Always a nurse. She is a great woman.

Ok, where is Curly? Curly will know what is going on. Pastor Adams as the town knows him but to me it’s just Curly. Wasn’t always Pastor material if you know what I mean. There he is. As I head to the front of room, Pastor Adams takes the stage and the entire room gets deathly quiet. Hmm well the quiet didn’t last long.

“Listen up everyone we can stop them, we did it once and we can surely do it again” Officer Mike is screaming right behind me.

     “What are you talking about” shrieked a body from the crowd. “We killed them once and they still came back, we are screwed, we are all going to die. I know it.”

     I have absolutely no idea what they are talking about, who got killed? “What the freaking heck is going on.” I can’t help myself, “What the freaking heck are you all talking about?”, I holler out.

     “You haven’t heard? Freddy and Jason are back, but this time they are here to try to end the world.” The ladies in the back pews are screaming a blood curdling scream once again. I am getting a headache.

     You have to be kidding me. “What are you talking about?” I am actually laughing out loud. “Who exactly are Jason and Freddy? Sounds like a bad lounge act from the 70’s.”

     “This isn’t a joke son.” Curly is not happy with me, did he call me ‘son’, he is two years younger than I am? “Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees have been sent here by the devil’s order to consummate the ‘Bastard Child’.”

     Restraining myself from laughing at this ridiculous claim, “Wait. What? Please explain Curly this sounds ridiculous. You do hear yourself right? Consummate?”

     “Look Billy, Jason Voorhees was born and raised right here in Valle over 20 years ago and one year when he was off at camp, he drowned. The devil resurrected him once, convincing him that it was the town’s fault, our fault Billy, enticing him to kill over 100 people before they stopped him. And Freddy Krueger moved to Valle about 15 years ago, only to end up burning to death by a fire at a local factory, or maybe the town folk really did kill him. Who knows? Either way, Freddy believed that his death was the town’s fault, OUR FAULT. So when the devil resurrected him, he killed almost 100 people as well. Do you really think this town, the only town outside of the South Rim of the Grand Canyon, would have just 200 people if someone hadn’t wiped it off the face of the map?”

     I am realizing that I do recall a bit of this old urban legend. It can’t be real can it?

“So last week, unbeknownst to most of you…”, Mike begins.

“I saw it for myself.”, Lady Hilbright is screaming.

“There was a message painted on the back wall of the Hall. Painted in human blood. ‘Bastard Child, he’s comin BITCH.’”

Lady Hilbright is fainting, “Grab her!”, I yell. But it is too late, she just hit the pew in front of her. She is going to be out for a bit. At least we can discuss this without her blubbering hysterically. Stacy reaches for her and pulls her off the floor and ensures she is at least comfortable. “She’s OK guys, I have her.”, Stacy says as she shoes the gatherers away.

“This next part we have not disclosed before tonight. Besides Ms. Hilbright, no one else saw it but me and Curly. There were 13 severed heads, one on every post in the parking lot, all from what appears to be boys in the age range of 3-5 years old.” The room is once again deathly quiet.

“What the freaking heck is a Bastard Child? Actually I don’t really care. Let’s kill the bastards before they create this Bastard Child. Hey how do two guys create a Bastard Child? Never mind. Let’s do this!”